Story #5:
    Libraries have security systems just like stores. We activate and deactivate items as part of the check-in/check-out process. However, our security gates seem to have the mind of a teenage girl and go off whenever they feel like it. Sometimes there are just too many people around and it gets flustered and has an emotional outburst, ringing at every person as they walk out. Other days, it likes to play mind games and rings the first time a person walks through, but won't ring the second time they walk through. And, of course, sometimes it's just our fault and we forget to deactivate the item at the desk.
    One day, we were particularly busy with lots of people going and coming through our doors. A regular patron, notorious for her skills at deceiving new staff into breaking the rules, walked through the gate and the alarm went off. She instantly threw her hands up, shouting and making a scene as she made her way back to the desk. Naturally, she was defensive, we'd accused (and proven) her in the past. What made this situation all the more entertaining is that the woman was not just shouting normal defenses, she was claiming sanctuary because she had just come from a church. "Baptist! Baptist! Baptist! Baptist!", she kept shouting as she held her hands in the air. I was completely confused at why she would be shouting the denomination of her church until she managed to shout bits about how she'd just come from there and hadn't even borrowed anything from the library. The great part was, the gate was just acting touchy, she was perfectly in the clear.

Story #6:
    Another part of DailyLifeInALibrary is dealing with angry parents. A woman called wanting to simply renew her child's items over the phone. Well, unbeknownst to her, libraries actually have confidentiality laws that do not allow them to disclose personal information without permission. For us, that's the library card (or number). I asked her for the number and she freaked out. She insisted that I could look up the account without it and resisted my attempts to explain. Finally, she snapped, "My husband is the one who tickets cars downtown." The conversation ended with me trying to figure out if this was a threat or if she was so irate that she was just spurting random pieces of information.

I have decided to turn this blog into a collection of my experience working with a public library. Any resemblance to a person you may or may not be able to identify is unintended. No one should be able to pick out the real culprits in these stories! All real librarians will know, we hold confidentiality above all else. This blog is for fun! I hope you come to understand the life and adventures of public library aides.

The first few stories are not in chronological order. Rather, they are in the order that the story comes to me. I've started this blog five years into my service. I'm sorry fellow organizers, I cannot put these memories in proper order.

Story #1:
    A woman came up to the Circulation desk where I was working. She looked a little lost, so I asked her if I could direct her to something. She responded, "I'm having computer trouble and I need to find a book on Windows." Naturally, I quizzed her on what sort of Windows problem. "I need to find a product key," she said. I paused and regretfully informed her that she would most likely need to call some sort of Tech Support for this problem. The woman was persistent! She did not give up, insisting that the library had to have a book on this subject. Not being able to help recommend any literature, I asked the woman what happened to the product key. She said it didn't come with one. My mind instantly thought that perhaps the woman had some ill gotten software. "It's usually the little yellow sticker under the disk. It has a picture of a key with a bunch of numbers and letters following it. Usually, though, it's labeled 'product key'." To my surprise the woman nonchalantly responded, "Well, I have several of those." Problem solved. Day is saved. All in the life of a librarian. Or, almost a librarian.

Story #2:
        I had just come in to work. I was on the closing shift, so it was early afternoon when I'd arrived. An old woman approached the desk and kindly asked to borrow some office supplies - paper, pens, scissors, tape. We get these requests often, so I didn't think much of handing a pen to a sweet, old lady. As I was getting ready to answer, a girl on staff came over and discreetly handed me a piece of paper. I flipped it over and read, in childish print, "NO JEWS in the library! Pee on Jews!" Assuming this note was written by this sweet, old lady, I told her we could not loan her any supplies.
    About half an hour later, I see a green piece of paper taped to a book shelf. I walk over and see a sign, similar to the note the girl had handed me. I ran to the Reference desk and asked who had given an old woman markers. I spent the next hour scoping the library for signs. You'd never believe how quick an old woman can move in half an hour! We ended up calling the police's non-emergency line to ask about how to handle this situation. They came to talk to her and explain her behavior was inappropriate. The old woman resisted! She ended up being escorted out of the building. Poor old girl.
    By the time the ordeal had been taking care of, it was time for me to get to lunch. On my way, I passed the Asst. Dept. Head. I noticed one final sign stuck to the back of a pay phone, ripped it off and handed it to him on his way in. "I think you'll want to get rid of that," I told him. He read the sign and gave the most confused stare. I let someone else explain.